Thursday, April 28, 2011


I plan to continue on with stories of my past, but I just wanted to write what happened yesterday. So, Tuesday night, Wayne was looking at booking a trip to San Diego. It would be a family vacation. The last family vacation we took to California was so fun, but I was sad about the pictures. I did the typical, "hide behind my kids," in the photos, and the pics we did get back were not worthy of display in my house due to how large I felt. So... when Wayne said he was looking at booking another trip, I was a little anxious. I didn't want to cancel a family vacation due to my own issues with weight. I decided it is time to be serious. I want to be serious... right? What am I afraid of?

I set two eating goals:

1) No sugar, unless it is in fruit. (No artificial sweeteners.)
2) No white flour.

I have set these goals before, and lasted about 4 days. I am on day two. My headache started last night, and I still have it. I didn't know where it came from at first, but realized this morning that it is due to sugar withdrawal. I am not one to get headaches on a regular basis.

Yesterday went fine as far as eating. I had a green smoothie for breakfast. Cottage cheese for snack. For lunch, I met some friends and went to Plates and Palates for lunch, where I had a delish Greek Caesar salad. I didn't eat the roll that came with it, or the croutons. I felt fine, and only wanted the roll for a minute. At home a had a cheese stick for snack, as well as a spoon full of almond butter. Then I ground wheat, and made bread for the week. I had two pieces right out of the oven, and put organic honey on them - not butter.

Then, I did it... I asked Elizabeth if I could go to ZUMBA. I have no idea why, but as the day went on... I got a serious case of anxiety! I started trying on exercise clothes to wear. It was depressing. I got rid of most of them in my yard sale last summer. I had forgotten that. I really had nothing to wear. My mind started playing tricks on me, and got me in a panic. I started having serious anxiety about going after watching zumba on youtube. I didn't really know what it was before watching. I think Rhett could sense my nerves, and was crying more than usual.

I told Wayne I had nothing to wear, and he told me he would watch the baby as I ran to the store for some clothes. Five minutes later, I was in the minivan, and on my way. Again, I started having an attack of the nerves, and thought... Who can I call? I decided to call Becky. I told her I needed a pep talk. Becky is my awesome friend who knows my issues with my weight, and how I don't love to exercise. I told her what was going on, and she was SO GREAT! She made me feel better. I love her, and miss her so much! She told me how fun zumba is, and how I am beautiful no matter what size I am. Thanks Becky! You are a great friend.

I got some clothes, went home, fed the baby, put him to bed, got dressed, and waited for my ride. I was feeling much better.Elizabeth picked me up, and then we stopped and picked up Karen before heading out. The car ride was fun and easy. Both those girls are so great.

We got there, and stood in line for about ten minutes before going in. Of course I saw a few people I knew... Don't I always? They were nice too, and were also beginners. Well, one of them was a girl I knew from when I went to Gold's Gym. She was a teacher there, and remembered me. I was impressed. It has been years. I think it was the last time I really exercised.

Zumba was SO FUN! The room was super crowded. I was in the third row, and could barely see the teacher. I was able to keep up for the most part. I am thinking some of the moves will take a little practice. Then it was over. The ride home was fun. I talked to Elizabeth after in her car for a while. I can't wait to do it again.

I don't know what I was so worried about. I was not the biggest there, but I was definitely on the bigger side. Hopefully I can change that!

When I got on the scale today... I had lost a pound and a half! I don't know how it happened so fast, but it was VERY ENCOURAGING! We will see what tomorrow brings :)

I can do it. I can stick to it. It is worth it. I am worth it!

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